What to do when Someone you know Hits You

I am sure you are aware that not all friendships last forever. Some even end in a bloody big fight. Let’s look at how to use your knowledge of The Jukebox and The Defuse technique, in relation to friends. What to do if you get hit by a friend, and why friends who throw tantrums probably should become "X" friends.

When a friend throws a tantrum - this will sound a bit silly - try to keep out of the way. Just as we’re told to do when a person is having an epileptic fit. You should clear the area so they don’t hurt themselves, keep out of their way, and let them go.

If at all possible, you should try to do the same with your friend, as you would do with a person having an epileptic fit - keep out of the way.

While you’re waiting, try to work out what it is that they are mad about (if you don’t already know). Try to see it from their point of view. If possible, let the dog have its bone. The second the tantrum stops, say, "Yes, you're right," then say something that agrees with their point of view and you will find that an amazing thing will happen… they will calm right down.

Clearly, the best technique you can apply in this type of situation is "The Defuse," because no-one gets hurt. Well at least not very hurt. If you don’t manage to keep yourself completely out of the way, you may get a knock or two.

What if you get hit

If someone you know hits you while throwing a tantrum, exaggerate the extent of the pain that has been inflicted. Just as the top football players do to trick the umpire. Make the attacker/friend think that you have been all but killed.

Why? Because deep down your friend didn’t want to hurt you. When they see that they have, or appeared to have hurt you, they will be bought back to reality. Tantrums tend to stop when something breaks, so appearing to be hurt may stop what’s happening.

Have you ever seen two kids fighting or play fighting and suddenly, one of them gets hurt?

The fighting stops and the mortally wounded is left alone, and goes away crying. Your attacker friend is probably a bully from way-back, and may have a "stop when injured" record in his collection.

When they stop attacking, which won't be long as a rule, it's absolutely vitally important that you pretend it didn't happen. They will expect physical and/or verbal retaliation, but if you don’t give it to them… well let me say this: "It takes two to tango." Go on with "The Defuse" very quickly and say goodbye forever.

You deserve better

If this was a friend or a partner going off the deep end, never be conned into getting back together with them by the old, "it will never happen again" hogwash story. As you now know, the old record in their jukebox makes sure that it will.

Remember that a "Jukebox" will keep playing the same records repeatedly unless something is done to change them. Change is unlikely to take place in a person over night. People can change, but not without a great deal of effort. Probably more effort than your friend is willing to undertake.

If however, they receive a lot of help from a psychiatrist, or the like, it just may be OK to be friends again, but it’s a big IF.

If you have a friend who throws tantrums, I would like to say this and leave it at that:

"YOU DESERVE BETTER!"

This article is the third of three articles (found on this website):

1. Verbal Self Defense  Click here

2. Why People Fight and Argue over Nothing  Click here

3. What to do when Someone you know Hits You

Let's summarize all three articles:

• "Yes you’re right" will defuse, at lightning fast speed. Use it often.

• Ask yourself, does it really matter that much to me? If the answer is no, or even not really, let the dog have its bone.

• Remember the "Jukebox" in your mind automatically plays records, good or bad.

• Under stress a seven-year-old child makes an appearance.

• You can’t change their record, but you can change how you react to it.

• Now that you know about the "Jukebox" and know why they are behaving in the way they are… you are in a very powerful position.

• Try and keep out of the way especially if it's a so-called friend.

• Put on a show, make him think that he has all but killed you.

• It’s absolutely vitally important that you pretend the tantrum didn't happen then use the defuse.

• Friends like this you don’t need… you deserve better.

• You may have to use a hands-on approach with the few who don’t like to be told they’re right.

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