What to do when Someone Picks a Fight

What to avoid, and what to ignore if you are aggressively approached by someone. How to change the subject, and why I call this kind of person a brave coward. Turn a brave coward into a friend, and why you should go along to get along.

It’s surprising how easy it is to offend some people these days. You just have to look at someone and you stand a good chance of being assaulted by them, especially at night. The darkness of night does strange things to people, so does a full moon.

If you happen to be out wandering around town, avoid eye contact with groups of young people, especially at night. If you get the old "what are you looking at?" routine, here's a little trick that is an extension of The Defuse (another article on the website).

This brave coward of a person will probably be a short distance away from you and walking in your direction, puffing his chest up, as he says:

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"

Almost without exception he will have a small army in the background ready to save him if a paper bag falls on him. Which is why I called them brave cowards - brave with an army, a coward without.

Get out your brain, the most powerful weapon in the world, and use it fast…

Quickly find something that you like about them. A hat, shirt, shoes, hair, or whatever, and say so with a lot of enthusiasm.

Example: "I’m looking at your hat (smile), I love it, fantastic, where can I get one?" (Sound excited.)

Ignore the aggressive approach and it will soon fade.

I just said four things without giving him the chance to respond to any of them. I did this to compliment him as much as I could with one breath. In doing this, I am attempting to defuse him.

Ask questions, any questions, in the example I asked him to tell me where I can get the hat he is wearing. Play a bit dumb and get him to give you directions. Say something like: "Would they still be open now?" Look at your watch, even if you’re not wearing one, say, "I’ll go and have a look, thanks… see you later!"

He is putting on a show to get attention from his army. I just gave him more attention in one breath than his army probably has all week. Whatever you compliment him on, it’s most likely attached to him, to attract attention. You are probably the first person to give him the attention he desires.

Provided you come across sincere and genuine, I’m sorry to say that you have just made yourself a new friend - a most unwanted friend. Rest assured, the friendship will be short lived. You will soon leave, take the friendship with you and throw it in the next bottomless lake you come to. This kind of friend, you don't need.This story so far:

• Ignore the army.

• Ignore the aggressive approach.

• Quickly find something you genuinely like.

• Say so with a lot of enthusiasm - be sincere and genuine.

• Ask questions, any questions for example: find out where he got something he’s wearing that stands out and get him to give you directions.

• Then say goodbye.

Remember to be doing what he is doing, he is a person, who has not much to think with.

You are putting on an act, but it must appear to be a genuine act. What you like, must be something you really do like or although this is a dumb person, he will sense you are not genuine and be very offended.

Think about this

You may see something a real friend has that is new, and that you quite like. What is your reaction? What do you say? If you don’t know, then here's a little field assignment for you.

Field assignment

You will need a close friend and close self-observation skills. Answer these questions…

How do you react and what do you say when you notice something new about a friend? Also, watch what other people do in this situation. Notice how they do it, and the response they receive. Become a people watcher. It’s a fascinating hobby that may develop into a life long interest for you. The knowledge you will gain will certainly help you with this subject, and way beyond it.

Back to your friends…

You may not really like the new look much.You know it’s important to your friend, so you take some interest, because they’re your friends after all. If you use the same reaction you have with your friends, on your attacker, you will be on the right track.

Another way of looking at it is to see this brave coward as a friend walking towards you. He has something new that you quite like. It may be easier for you to show enthusiasm, seem sincere and genuine, if you see a friend and not an aggressive stranger entering the picture.

Finally, try the above trick on people who briefly enter your life. If you practise on strangers before you get yourself into a "what are you looking at" situation, you will find it much easier to manage on the day. As a bonus, your day-to-day encounters with strangers will be a more joyful one - people generally like people who like them.

Finally, for the final time. If you are a negative person at heart, try to find something behind the brave coward that is considered to be socially unacceptable. More importantly, something that may be unacceptable to the brave coward.

Change the subject from, "What are you looking at," to, "Can you believe that?" Be careful with what you pick on, if there is a car illegally parked, be sure it isn’t his car. If it is an act of vandalism that you pick on, make sure he wasn’t responsible for it (does it look old or new)?

On the other hand, and a bit more positively, if it is his car illegally parked, or an act of vandalism he is doing, pretend to be impressed.

You could say cheerfully. "I just noticed this car parked here. Mine is parked right over there; I had to walk miles! That’s a good idea parking it here, I might go and get mine and put it here, good thinking… see you later".

There's a good chance that he thought you were thinking he was a so-and-so for illegally parking and when you seem to be on his side, you will make a friend.

If it is an act of vandalism you are looking at, that he is doing, and he comes out with: "What are you looking at?." Say something stupid like, "Not bad! I give that an 8 out of 10!" Say it in an agreeable way.

Do you see a pattern starting to form? To sum it all up, "go along to get along" is the key here. In The Defuse article, I suggested you ask yourself this: "Does it really matter that much to me?"

When a situation may be close to boiling point, you getting attacked, don’t let it matter to you, just go along to get along. Then get on your way and be pleased with your acting skills.

Let's summarize

• Avoid eye contact with groups of young people.

• Be ready for the "what are you looking at?" routine.

• This article is an extension of The Defuse.

• Ignore the army behind him.

• Ignore the puffed up aggressive approach.

• Quickly find something you genuinely like about him.

• Say so with a lot of enthusiasm, try to be sincere and genuine.

• Ask questions, any questions.

• Say goodbye.

• Become a people watcher.

• Another way of looking at it is to see this brave coward as a friend.

• People generally like people who like them.

• If you are a negative person, try to find something considered socially unacceptable.

• Change the subject from, what are you looking at, to, can you believe that.

• When you seem to be on his side, you will make a friend.

• Say something stupid like: "Not bad, I give that an 8 out of 10. It could be a bit more bent though."

• Going along to get along, is the key.

Well, that’s quite a summary. We should probably summarize the summary. The last point made in the summary may do just that. It is also quite clear that where you look in this world can get you into trouble or keep you out of trouble. Look up, look down, but be careful who you look at.

To summarize the summary

Going along to get along is the key in a "what are you looking at" situation. Change the subject fast and go along with whatever they say.

Instructional Fighting Videos on unconventional fighting methods designed to teach you how to not only level the playing field but to give you a distinct advantage in any violent situation where your safety or the safety of a loved one is on the line. These are amazing videos and fun to watch - 24 to choose from.  More >>

Bookmark Self-Defense Now, enjoy your visit, tell a friend, and return soon!

"Can't find what you're looking for? Try Google Search!"

	Web www.self-defense-secrets.com